A Trip to the Dentist TIMES 3

In March Eric found a great "deal" on groupon.com for a teeth cleaning, x-rays, and whitening trays for $69. We don't have dental insurance and neither of us had been to the dentist in a very long time (3 years), so we decided it was time to go. I was certain my outcome in the dental chair would be better than Eric's because I am an avid brusher, flosser, whitener, etc.... and, let's be honest, he is less than dedicated in his oral hygiene.

So, when the hygienist came in and told me I needed a root canal on a bottom left tooth I was flabbergasted! She pointed to the tooth that "should be in pain" and asked me if I drank a lot of sweet tea... which I replied, "never" (she didn't seem to believe me). She showed me the x-ray where my tooth was decaying and the nerve. "Are you sure?" I asked, "I never get pain on that side but lately I have been having tooth aches on my right side." No one listened. I didn't see anything. But the doctor did and Eric did. I was still in shock. The x-rays said it all and I was scheduled for a root canal 2 weeks later.

For two weeks I was in denial. Sure, my dad has had root canals, my mom has had root canals, my older brother has had root canals... but I am Smiley Kiley... I can't have a root canal! I kept telling Eric, "I really don't think anything is wrong with my tooth." To which he replied, "Kiley, I saw the x-ray. You need a root canal." But a girl can dream right? For the next two weeks I prayed that I wouldn't have to have a root canal and have to come up with $2,000 to fix my tooth. Prayers are answered right?

During my second trip to the dentist a dental assistant numbed the left side of my face and took and x-ray of my "decaying tooth" but came back puzzled. There was nothing wrong with my tooth!

I felt like gloating and telling everyone how wrong they were. Everyone should know by now that I am always right.

Then to "be sure" she took an x-ray of the right side... and I thought to myself, "Oh, oh. That is where I have been having some toothaches." It turns out I am not always right... just kind of right. Somehow, they got the x-rays turned around and I proceeded to sit in the dental chair for two hours (who knew a root canal would take for-e-ver!) while he removed the decay and nerve. He patched the hole, wrote prescriptions for Valium and an antibiotic, and said, "See you back in a few weeks."

WHAT?!?! Apparently, I wasn't done yet.

Before leaving I decided to ask the assistant if I could take the medications while breastfeeding (don't people read charts?)? To which she replied, "No" and snatched the Valium prescription right out of my hand. I could have kicked myself for being SO stupid--I'm sure I could have sold them for twice their cost on the street!

I wasn't quite prepared for my third visit. I guess I didn't really know what a "crown" entailed. I thought they would just put a cap over my tooth. Boy, was I wrong. First, they took a picture of my tooth and within minutes they had another made just like it. Isn't technology amazing? It was pretty cool but I didn't have time to appreciate the coolness because suddenly the dentist was grinding my tooth down to a nubbin. NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT GRINDING MY TOOTH DOWN TO A NUBBIN!!! I almost had an emotional breakdown. Over the past twenty something years I had grown pretty attached to that tooth and suddenly it wasn't there anymore. They should really warn you before they remove a body part. After my tooth was removed the doctor asked me if I wanted to see it. I think I glared at him because he didn't ask again. I was furious for hours.

Grudgingly now, I can admit that the dentist did a good job. After all the work I was never in enough pain to take a Valium. Oh, that's right I couldn't have taken one if I needed one! The doctor's office was nice, the equipment was cool, the office secretary entertained and fed Kinsley treats, and (to top if all off) I got to the watch HGTV, undisturbed, for HOURS while I was getting work done.